Is it just me or do New Year celebrations mean less and less as time goes on? I just read my “new years” blog post from 2011 and boy… just reading it, the tone I wrote in… it’s so different. It’s hard to really put a finger on, but my life almost exactly a year ago, who I was then and where I expected to be at the beginning of 2012 has turned out to be  completely different than expected. At the end of 2010, I had broken off a relationship which wasn’t settled in my heart.. I couldn’t keep going on with it because I knew it wasn’t right. I know now that the progress of said relationship was the event which kickstarted this pattern that i’ve realized in myself (which has since caused me more trouble than I really care to detail): if something is bothering me, be it in the sense of the heart or the mind, I won’t rest until I do what I need to do, and I won’t find any measure of peace until there’s some level of resolution. It’s both a strength and a weakness, I fear, but i’ll take it and work through dealing with the negatives better as time goes on, by the grace of God. Anyways, that particular discovery held quite a bit of gravity during the course of the rest of the year of 2011; it caused a couple mountainous issues, which thankfully in the end were resolved, though not without some hurt and other debris along the way. All for good reason, though, I believe.

I truly have learned so much this past year; I can’t readily recall all of it because my timelines have shifted into semesters rather than years, so it’s a little weird trying to think back and realize “oh yeah… Spring semester 2010 was last year..”
Gosh… thinking just about that couple-month-long period of time and how it changed my life. The people I got to know, what I got to experience, the things I learned in classes and just through life in general. I’m chilling here on my bed at 1:35 in the morning, and I’m remembering conversations that I had with certain people, and I remember questions that I wish I had asked… that I still wish I had asked, I can remember ventures up onto the PAC roof and things that happened there, things that were said and reactions that happened. The housing situations and how that shaped the relationships which were cultivated in a February to May time span. It was so wonderful, yet…. I look back now and I can pick out the bad decisions I’d made, the good decisions, the path-changing decisions. I flash back to now and I compare how my life has changed, and wow… let me tell you, it certainly has changed. The fall semester of 2011 brought so much change that I truly hadn’t expected, change which I don’t think I was ready for. It came though, whether I wanted it or not, and as with all the bouts of change that happen in life, it carried me with it, dousing me with trial and lifting me up in joy, much like a river throws about some driftwood. Even with the dawning of this new year, I’m still not done changing, and I can bet you my bottom dollar that in a years time I’ll be reading back on this post and wondering at myself. Wondering at the feebleness of some of the things I experienced. Truly, that thought alone makes me a little apprehensive about what this new year will bring, but looking at it again, everything that I went through and made others go through this past year I believe all worked out in the end… I know that I certainly learned something from my life in 2011.

As I write, more and more memories begin to flood back to my mind, and I realize more profoundly how full this year really was. So much happened, but so easily, I let it go.. kind of forgot about it. My trip to Memphis, my summer job at the cafe (not just a summer job now ), the ways I got to see God provide and answer prayer, fully realizing God’s power especially in the face of a broken heart, re-discovering myself and who I am in the image of God, refocusing on growing in the goal to be a Proverbs 31 woman (that’ll actually eventually have it’s own blog post it was so impactful). It’s a lot, and I know that I’ve missed things.. and some I’ve written between the lines. It was truly a full year, and an incredible year. I have little regret; only that I didn’t spend the time I needed to discovering the wonderful depths of my Saviour and how that applies to my life, how that CHANGES me, from the inside out, and how it affects the people I’m around, how it affects how I work and where my priorities are. That is what I regret. But hey… it’s a new year, and here I am, writing a reflection blog post much, much different from my last new years post. A new year means a new beginning, and as cliche as that sounds, whatever. It’s true. Sometimes cliches can be used with good measure.

So, I will write down my remembered resolutions right here. Yeah… I’ll probably give up eventually, but honestly, it’s my intention to undergo a heart-change that only God can perform, and with that heart change, I hope to see my priorities line up where they should be lined up. I feel that in pursuing the heart of God and seeking the change in heart that will cause me to love the people around me as He loves me, these goals are attainable, and some even will help along my pursuit of God, my discovery of who He is.

So, without further ado:

1. Read at least the whole New Testament, and glean everything that I can from it.
2. Run at least two/three times a week.
3. Make studying more of a priority (going for all A’s this semester)
4. Plug into my church and get involved somewhere, somehow, someway.
5. Reflect in peace/silence often; search my own heart, and live consciously of my decisions.
6. Become an intentional worshipper with the way I live and what I do.
7. Get something published, somewhere; do something with my writing. Finish a story idea for once.
8. And, on a lighter note, really get crackin’ on piano-ing!

So yes, here are my goals for this year. There are more, but these are those which stand out the most to me. And, if anyone actually reads this, then keep me accountable. Ask me how such and such an endeavour is going, and if it isn’t… challenge me. I like challenges. A lot. That’s another thing I more clearly uncovered about myself this year… I rarely will back down from a challenge. There are probably some psychoanalytical things that could be said about that, but truly, part of it is because I’m motivated by challenge. I’m motivated by taking something someone doesn’t think I can do…. and do it. Of course, the negative side to that is that sometimes I get carried away with challenges that I don’t stop to consider the outside elements of that challenge. And maybe.. that doesn’t make sense to you, but right now, that’s okay. If you know what I mean, then good.

But yes. That is all that I have to say about that. There’s still a lot going on in my head, and I feel as though some personal blogging will relieve some of that… though part of me is thinking that I’m starting to miss the people back at Union, and that I need some talkage time with them. Well… another month to go and I’ll be off, Lord willing.

For now.
Prov. 31

But anyways… here I am, Christmas Eve. All is quiet in the house, almost. Carol of the Bells is playing, and I’ve got the taste of fresh gingerbread men on my tongue. Everything is so quiet. Makes me wonder what it was like back on the night Christ was born. Sure, it wasn’t December 25th, but even still. I had a discussion about silence in the car coming home from my churches Christmas Eve service. Though, it wasn’t so much about silence as much as it was about calm and quiet, and how Christmas music should supposedly reflect that. But, I wondered: was the atmosphere around Jesus when he was born REALLY quiet? He was born into the world in a stable… animals… they’re not very quiet. The census was taking place, so who knows what kinda noise was going on outside. I suppose that’s just the obvious things. I don’t know… it was just something that struck me. Jesus certainly wasn’t born into a quiet, peaceful world. The world He was born into was rank with sin and power struggles.. evil. How much worse is it now? I don’t want to imagine.. however, I think it’s important to consider where the world is these days, consider what Christ came down to save us from, no? 

Yeah, see.. typically I’m not really one of those people who enjoy overly cliched things like Christmas blog posts reminding people of the Christmas story, sayings that get passed around all the time without meaning. I feel kind of awful about it sometimes, the fact that I find it really difficult to appreciate the Christmas Story for what it is. This year it’s been a little easier because God’s been working in my heart, but in years past, it was all same-old, same-old. One of the reasons I think this year is the fact that I’ve stumbled across multiple passages in Scriptures that point back to Christ’s birth and humbling. They aren’t direct lines connecting them solidly, but when you get to thinking about them, there’s some interesting parallels. 

So, in speaking about in interesting, not-exactly-connected parallels (wait… parallels aren’t connected in the first place, if they are truly parallel.. what am I thinking?!) I found a verse that stuck out to me particularly in my daily Proverbs reading. I took up a challenge at the beginning of the month that puts forward the challenge of reading a chapter each day of the month, in correspondence with the day… 3rd of December, 3rd chapter in Proverbs.. and so on. Anyways, there was a verse in Ch. 16 that I found to be particularly interesting: 

“ It is better to be humble in spirit with the lowly 
Than to divide the spoil with the proud.” (Proverbs 16:19)

Alrighty… so.. how exactly does this verse have any parallels with the christmas story? Well… maybe not anything direct, but humility… that’s a huge thing that’s been weighing on my mind recently, especially in light of Christmas. See, Jesus was born in the most humble of situations.. a stable, with parents who were poor and hadn’t really been able to secure a place of their own in the midst of the busyness of the census and such; they weren’t even married (technically.. sorta, according to Jewish culture, but still) when Jesus was conceived, they were in strange place to begin with.. usually the birth of a child happens surrounded by family and friends. Jesus was the King, yet… all this? Jesus’ ministry was with the needy and the poor and sick, he chose to leave His glory and submit himself to some horrible stuff. Anyways, I just thought that it was interesting how throughout Proverbs there’s so many blessings that come with humility and having a humble spirit, how even Christ Himself came to earth in the most humble of conditions in order to minister to US… the humans who so often choose to “divide spoil with the proud.” Not just minister to us but to SAVE us, rescue us from being doomed to being lost in the dark. For eternity. Only He could bridge the gap between God and the human race. This year, there’s something about this fact that really strikes my heart… so I wanted to share. I KNOW how it is with Christmas blog posts, and remembering the Christmas Story… it all is just recycled from the years past… but that doesn’t make it any less true. Don’t let yourself get “vaccinated” against the power of the impact of Christ’s sacrifice for you… it’s important to remember, but takes branches out from the normal verses… look for testimony of Christ’s sacrifice in other parts of scripture to make it fresh. 

Have a blessed Christmas. 

You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
—Isaiah 26:3

]]> http://allyofpeace.wordpress.com/2011/08/25/must-there-be-a-title/feed/ 0 Ally http://allyofpeace.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/re-unionated/ http://allyofpeace.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/re-unionated/#comments Tue, 23 Aug 2011 06:22:05 +0000 Allison http://allyofpeace.wordpress.com/?p=177 Continue reading →]]> Yep. I’m back.

About 1:30 on the afternoon of August 21st, I arrived at Union University… totally elated. I was sorta jellyish from the car ride, but as I wobbilyly signed my name to get my keys, I couldn’t help but smile as numerous different thoughts scrambled through my high-wired (at the moment) mind. SO MANY things were on my mind: would such and such a thing happen, would the reunion with people be as I hoped? Would I like my new dorm? How different were things gonna be? Soooo many questions without answers… right then. Answers to all have, I’m glad to say, surfaced. First of all: I’M BACK!! And I LOVE my friends!! They’re so wonderful… a wonderful, blessed group of people that I wouldn’t give up for anything. They’re such a support with the Prayer Warriors group, and seeing everyone again? Gosh.. it’s awesome and… wonderful. Soo many hugs, bear and otherwise, were gladly received. Talking and joking around, and hearing about summers and missions work and a plethora of different things made my head spin, but in the middle of hearing them talk about their summers and such, I realized how wonderful each and every one of them are; how unique and beautiful God made them… what with their personalities and character… their whole PERSON. God is cool, isn’t He? Just thinking about two people down at the table and evaluating how different and similar they are, thinking about their history and all that… every event in their life shaped them somehow… and then you start thinking about how the events happening now.. how the events that I’m involved in will affect them.. it’s strange, but something cool to think about. =)

To kick off the year, I managed to knock my right ankle out of commission… again. It wasn’t completely un-swollen from the last time (the 13th) I damaged it… heh.. of course, I didn’t think about my ankle when I went to go play a game of Ninja with a couple freshmen. I lasted halfway through the game, and I enjoyed it quite a bit… but…. gosh.. that first “dispersal” jump got my ankle, so now it’s swollen like a fat person’s ankle… again. Thankfully it doesn’t really hurt that much, but.. still. Yay for injured body parts, right? In other news, while we’re on the same topic as pain and injuries, the old familiar “I walked wayy too much today” feeling is back in my feet and legs.. and.. it’ll probably be there until about half of this first month of school is done. Or more. But, no pain no gain, right?

Mmm yesss… many things were answered today, some of which had been on my mind quite a bit lately… it’s good now though. And I’m very, very glad… and probably more than that, but you’ll never know, now will you?

Aw geez.. and I just had a nice little earwig crawling on my arm randomly. I really hope this dorm doesn’t have bug problems.. T_T I do have to say, though, I love the place my window is at: right at the level of my bed. I’ve got a lovely light kinda lighting the thing up, so thank goodness I don’t need pure darkness in order to sleep. I’m sure it’ll get annoying though… I’m sure. My first impression of these dorms was… probably a little less than favorable because the rooms seemed so small! But… I can deal with that. The thing I have a harder time dealing with is the lessened surface space. I LOVE surface space, and my other dorm sure had a ton of surface space. Heck, they had a hugeeee shelf running all along two walls of the room where I could put ANYTHING and nobody would know. The highest piece of furniture is the closet (naturally) which has a shelf thingy on top.. but it’s hard to reach. I won’t complain though. We’e got two bathrooms, which have.. at least 6 shelves in them (but no sink drawers?! What?!) and a HUGE living room…. and a cool bed. This bed is so springy it’s ridiculous. I love it. PLUS it’s elevated. Bouncy plus elevation = happy Allison. =) I think I’m just purely happy tonight… tired right now and ready to drop off to a pleasant sleep, but happy and.. I think you could say content. Yes. I’ll leave it at that =)

Peace.

Anyways… so.. where do I begin?!

Craigslist. You know, I never thought that I’d actually ever get a legit job through craigslist. The website is usually used to find furniture, pets, people to hook up with. It is crawling with creepers, I’m sure, and it has an endless supply of repeated job listings. There’ve been a few that I’ve pursued (or… I should say MANY), but they all fell through, one way or another. I was told that them posting a listing on that website was a last resort kinda thing… they were in need of a few extra employees. I responded, not thinking that anything would come of it, but.. what do you know?! I got an interview. and… like.. two weeks later a second one. Then I was hired. By then it was about the middle of June or so. The waiting process was kind of stressful, because once I’d gotten the interview, I’d lost the motivation to pursue other places in case the cafe didn’t work out. I’d put all my hopes on that place because I felt like that was where I was supposed to be. Maybe that wasn’t the wisest idea, but thankfully it did end up working out absolutely brilliantly. There were some challenges along the short road, though. Even though the place was literally a three minute drive from my house, I ended up arriving late a time or so… and thus incurred the unhappiness of a co-worker and supervisor. I HATE disappointing people… absolutely hate it, so you can imagine, I felt awful after that. A good thing about working with practicing Christians, though? They don’t stay mad. Relationship was restored and all went on as well as normal. I love my co-workers… especially Joel. He’s just a sweet, sweet guy whose got such a heart for ministry and the kids that come through… it’s inspiring. When he gets to talking about me setting up a new standard in cleaning… I’m impressed by his humility. He’s got a rough background, but you know what? Knowing that and seeing him where he is today just further gives me Joy knowing that God’s love and His salvation really DOES change peoples lives. A full 180˚ turnabout.

I wrestled with learning the ropes, obviously. Never having been in the barista business, it was intimidating to be required to learn all the different types of coffee… WHY they’re different; learning the proportions of small, medium, and large cups, getting accustomed to being aware of low stock ALL. the. time, and greeting people with a friendly smile, despite the way my day had been going previous to coming into work. I guess this whole experience was a good exercise in learning to better depend on God’s grace and support on those tough days, and to relish and share his joy… no matter the kind of day I was having. A servant attitude was definitely sown in my spirit, no doubt. And, probably to my mother’s and anybody else who I may live with for the duration of my life, I learned the value of having an organized work space. I find myself randomly wiping things up or neatening things out now wherever I am because of this job. It’s almost become second nature O_o NOT that I’m going to give up my “organized piles” way of living, but… in general, I’ve developed cleaner house habits. We’ll see how long it lasts now that I won’t be there for awhile.

Something that surprised me about working there was… a language barrier. I didn’t know that there was such a thing as “ghetto speak that Allison can’t understand.” Heck, I’ve grown up in this neighborhood all my life. I hear diverse types of ways of talking. I go to a CHINESE church, after all, and I go to a southern school. How much more complicated can it get? Ahaha… apparently… a bunch more complicated. Thankfully it didn’t happen often. The AC’s were almost always running, which exponentially raised the level of noise going on in the small place. It was hard enough to hear people from behind the counter. And when they were pulling a joke or teasing me about something, not being able to hear it in order to respond appropriately was… relatively inconvenient. Suffice to say, I didn’t expect to run into language barriers in that small Northside cafe. Another exercise in patience and the process of trial-and-error learning! Also, just a side note, I didn’t know just how serious people were when they said that European women don’t shave…. I have been fully convinced now, however, that they do not, in fact, shave their armpits. Therefore, if they do not do that, then their legs are probably untouched… so.. yeah. Just gonna leave it at that.

Anyways, what else can I share about my experience at the Cafe n’ Creamery? Well… I connected with another writer (Joel), I got some good writing done myself, even if it wasn’t work on my book. I met many, many interesting people, who, if I think about it long enough, I could probably develop into characters. Some sweet, old people, some cool cats, nice people, other rougher people. I’ve run into some nasty people, both in spirit and in.. personal hygiene, and I’ve run into Northsiders who DEFINITELY looked, acted, and sounded like Northsiders. Ahaha.. I love it. I loved the time I had there, and I do hope that I can go back during breaks. No.. I don’t hope, I plan to, if that’s indeed where God’s wanting me.

Oh, and before I forget, I ended up training the new guy they hired today. Yeah.. I was training someone. O_O I didn’t expect to be given the honors of doing that, truly. Especially since I’ve only been working there a whole… two months. Joel had a lot to do with it, actually… him and his match-making. It makes me laugh, though! Ahahhaa… wow yeah. He’s a nice fellow… 4 years older than me. An artist too. Hey.. Charlotte, if you’re reading this, maybe you should stop in more frequently to catch his shifts, eh? Oh wait no… she’s going away to college too. Shoot. Okay. Well… haha. He’s cool. Pretty quiet though.. a lot like me. Strangely, though, I felt like I was talking him over sometimes. Who would’ve thought that there was someone that made me feel like I was the one being loud. Funny.

Gosh, there’ve been so many good times at the cafe. There has hardly been a day working there that was bad or unpleasant. A couple unpleasant people may have come in, but you know… memory of them often fades more quickly than the ones of the people which treat others with at least a little bit of respect. I’ve had some time to think while I was there during those down times when I’d have maybe two customers in an hour and a half; I got to write many, many, many pages which tracked my thoughts… which, just to note, the evolution of brain trails is actually kind of interesting. Welllll…. that’s all that’s come to my brain concerning the cafe. Other things have been taking my thoughts captive, things that either time or more thought (or both) will solve. Things that may not ever be completely solved in my entire life. Things are changing for me and for countless other people I know. New experiences and responsibility lay ahead; new life challenges that will either grow us or tear us down, spiritual battles that might leave us hanging by a thread of leaping for joy in the mercy of our Saviour. Who can know what lies ahead? I do know one thing, though:

God is in control, and through that control He desires to bring the greatest amount of blessing to my life as He wills. I just need to move my Self out of the way and let Him work. Thank God for His patience and mercy! =)

Peace.

The question “what is honor, and what does it require of me” popped into my mind as I read this passage again. How many times had I read that passage, without really thinking about what honoring means? According to Dictionary.com:

“high respect, as for worth, merit, or rank: to be held in honor.“
“to hold in honor or high respect; revere: to honor one’s parents.”

Hmm. (**Little disclaimer here: I’m not gonna be talking about the noun aspect of honor… I’m more focusing on the attitude of it, just to clarify.)

I’ve always struggled with the distinguishing the difference between honoring someone and obeying. At the beginning of the passage, obedience to parents is mentioned, or rather, commanded. Obedience is a pretty black and white sort of thing; either you obey or you don’t. The saying “slow obedience is no obedience” comes to mind. But honor on the other hand… it’s different. To show or regard someone with honor is an issue of the heart moreso than anything else, I think, because unless you really do regard a person with respect, there’s no way you can honor them. If there’s a person in your life that bullies you, how can it be possible to respect them? You can’t force yourself to honor them in the same way you could force obedience.

I dunno. I guess my real struggle with the idea of honoring someone is the sacrifice it requires on my part. That and.. where is the line between honoring and obedience? Can you honor your parents without obeying them, or is obedience what comes out of honoring them? I guess the issue of honoring ones parents and authorities comes to mind because I’ve been thinking about issues I’ve had, both in the past and present, and how I might have reacted differently if I was showing respect and honor. How my behaviour might change if my attitude were in line with those verses. I dunno. It’s just food for thought… I wanted to write it down somewhere. It’s a train of thought I’ll definitely be pursuing more in the near future. 

On another note, a far less serious one at that, the annual youth retreat is coming up!! 8D TOMORROW. Or… technically today, seeing as it’s almost.. crap. 3am. I’m getting up in 5 hours. Lovely. Oh well.. long car ride = nap time. Man. But this year is going to be awesome. I fully intend to take a buncha tona pictures so that I can remember it forever, because it’s extremely likely and almost 100% certain that this will be my last one. And, seeing as it’s almost 3am, I shall end this blog post here, abruptly, and say goodnight =) 

Peace. 

Speaking of college… I’m going to be GOING BACK IN TWO WEEKS EXACTLY!!!! 8D How cool is that?! I am stoked beyond reason. It’s gonna be crazy different; living on an entirely different part of campus, classes in different buildings, friendship circles changing, relationships with different people change because of the changing friendship circles, potential for certain things to happen, exciting classes, incoming freshmen (aka. I won’t be “a freshmen” anymore. Which.. I’ll explain later. I know anyone who’s been a freshman can understand, in any case)… and I feel like a whole lot more’ll be different. I just feel really ready and excited to start this new year! =D Like, REALLY. I can’t really explain how I feel about it because it’s one of those feelings that just kinda bubble around inside you and refuse to come out in coherent expression, yet anyone who experiences it knows EXACTLY what you’re talking about. It’s some weird body-to-body connection that can’t be explained verbally. I dunno. I’m just ranting on and on about this… anyways. What I mean about the whole “i’m not gonna be a freshmen” anymore (I’ll do my best to explain) is that.. well.. my whole class isn’t going to be the freshmen anymore. We’re not going to be the “new ones” exactly… especially in the eyes of the incoming freshmen; we, along with the rest of the upper classes, are going to be the “big guys”, the ones who know what we’re doing, the more mature, level-headed minded kinda college kids (okay.. not level-minded.. we all know we’re crazy, but.. you know what I mean, right?)… yet.. I still feel like a… freshman. Like.. they’re going to feel about my class what I felt about the classes before me… and it’s.. WEIRD to be thought of like that because that’s not the case at alllll. SO strange. It’s gonna be a wild ride this semester/year.

IN OTHER NEWS: THE RETREAT IS THIS weekend. WHAT?!!? It’s already the end of summer?! As much as I looked forward to the end of summer and the return to school, I seriously, seriously feel like this summer was slowly moving painstakingly fast. If that makes any sense. I just can’t believe I’ll be seeing most of my Union people in two little weeks (which will be FILLED with stuff to do and planning), and this weekend will be my last Retreat attendance. That’s… five years now? Wow. Crazy stuff! Time really has flown. And I hear it only gets faster =( PLEASE NO! My mind is already a whirlwind of things. I like slowness as long as I have something productive to do and such…. or… just thinking, you know? Laying out in the middle of the early morning/late night and watching the stars and moon, relishing in the quietness of empty highways at 2am, swinging squeakily somewhere that is completely absent of human presence (besides yourself of course), standing out in the middle of a huge thunderstorm, or playing around is gigantic puddles after a tornado warning passes, the threat of danger still electrifying the air. I dunno… just some things I really enjoy… things that seem as though they would last forever. I’ve got two days left at my cafe job… and it feels like I just started working there. I’m starting to feel sentimentally sad at the thought of not seeing those people there for awhile…. I’ve grown to really enjoy their company and conversation. Just the other day a church guy came in and started talking to be about God’s sense of humor. An old drummer named Thomas. He was sweating and out of break and everything but he was dang friendly.. he even prayed for me towards the end of our conversation… it was touching, really. People don’t just randomly start talking to you and end up praying for you anymore these days.. which is sad. The love of God was seriously just streaming out of this man, and he said some encouraging things, and prayed for things that really were on my mind… God is great! Bringing encouragement and love just when a person needs it. =)

Alright… so now I’ve hit a brick wall.. hmmm. I’m listening to a little Frank Sinatra as I write this, trying to ignore the random sentences coming from my sisters’ mouths as they “go to sleep”. I was thinking the other day, actually, about my siblings. Just because… I realized that the time I have with them is limited. Extremely limited, actually…. and the more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t really KNOW my siblings. I dunno their interests really, I don’t really know what they think about random stuff. I know they’ve got a whole life of development ahead of them… but.. how do you even get to know your siblings when there’s such a huge gap, and you already feel some sort of low-hedge barrier? Spending time with them…. well.. it’s not really as easy as one would think; in other words… it’s easier said than done. I suppose an effort needs to be made in order to really see any improvement in that area.. and there has been a little effort.

I’ve just been so unmotivated to do anything these days. I’m not staying up as late as I did earlier this summer… but something about just waiting makes me unmotivated. I don’t feel like doing ANYTHING, even though there’s so much I need to do, and could be doing. I hate it a whole lot…. trying to get over that hump so that I can get things done before I go back. Especially my eye exam and contacts order… I really hope my eyes haven’t gotten worse… yet.. I feel as though they have. Poooooo. Why can’t people just have perfect eyesight? One of my dreams is to undergo Lasik some day. Maybe instead of my first car I’ll get lasik in one eye or something. Or… not. Harumph. I’m just rambling now… I’ve gotta see what I can get done tomorrow. Work on some editing projects for sure… and maybe a jog in the morning. Gosh.. I really need to get back into that. Running was super beneficial and lovely.. I felt a difference within a week, and now since I’ve stopped for awhile.. I feel that too. And see it. Pooooo. It’s amazing how running trims a person down fast if there isn’t too much to trim down. Ahaha anways, I think I’ll end this blog for now.. and maybe tomorrow I’ll write something on my time at the cafe.. or.. maybe I’ll do that when I finish my last day there. le-sigh.

Well, peace to you.

Allison

But, on a happier not, I’ve been freewriting a load more! Just writing my thoughts down and stuff in a span of a couple hours, coming up with ideas and all that. It’s almost become like a living journal. AND. I finally managed to get an errand day in… although, I’ve already got berated for leaving without saying where I was going.. it kinda slipped my mind today since I was set on getting out and doing something. I got both my checks deposited… I hate money. Have I mentioned that before? I’m sure I have. I just thought I’d say it again. Because it’s super true. OH! Speaking of money, I found out that I’m getting about $35 more for this years PA state grant…  $70 year round. It’s awful, only getting  $370/year because i’m going out of state. They should be proud to promote education, regardless of where it is! Gee. In staters get like.. $4,000. It’s crazy, the amount of money differences there are. I hate it, but I can’t do anything about it. Well, regardless, I’ve still got about $2000 (a little less) to earn from now till August 18th in order to go with everything paid, debt-free. God’ll provide. He has so far! One year of college done, debt free. I’m excited to see how else he’ll provide this coming year. =) Less than 5 weeks till I leave. I can’t begin to explain my excitement… I get to room with three other people this year instead of just two, new dorms entirely, getting used to being situated in a completely new area of the campus, more focused classes… booya. !!!!!! And I can’t wait to see my friends! And get back to my church! *sigh* Summer has never seemed so long. I’ve started seeing Union-peoples faces in random passerby’s, causing a double-take. I miss the daily interaction. Soon, it will come. In the meantime, I am going to search for the purpose God has for me while I’m in Pittsburgh for the summer. And I will be content and joyful in my position.

Peace.

So… I didn’t get up till 12, so suffice to say, my morning was pretty quiet. I had a pretty crazy dream that’s already beginning to fade from memory, but it was one of those dreams where a whole bunch of things from the day before a jammed into a chaotic, awesome dream. This one involved three-part plots, one of which was meant to destroy a  guy in a hefty pick up truck with one of those huge ride-on lawn mowers. Don’t even ask… xD I was amused when I woke, needless to say. Anyways… I really didn’t do anything after I woke up. My usual wake up routine, naturally, but… nothing else really. I lounged around today, went on a nice conversation walk with a bestie, cleaned corn (trust me… it’s harder than it looks. You think picking out hair from hairbrushes is hard? Try getting all the hair off an ear of corn..). Actually, when I was scrubbing away at the corn, I though to myself “What would a picture made out of vegetable body parts look like? You’ve got the lettuce for a head, potato “eyes”, corn ears AND hair…  and then I stopped thinking about it because there aren’t enough vegetable body parts for a full face. Anyways, yes. After cleaning the corn I wandered around outside, hoping that it’d rain later on (I like rain, okay?) and then went back to my tetris games. Tetris is SO awesome! I love it. Even if all those Koreans keep creaming my tail.. SOMEDAY I’ll be good enough to cream THEIR tails. Yep. Alrighty, so… I went and started to (or continued to, rather) edit my dad’s book. I don’t know what it is, but I’m finding it very hard to focus on the editing. It might be the fact that I don’t have an actual hard copy in my hands…. having paper copies to write all over make editing so much more exciting.. but it is impractical when you have a computer to automatically keep track of changes. Anyways, after a little friendly chat and editing, I ended up taking a nap right into dinner (ahem. Nobody told me when dinner was, nor did they call me or ring the bell as they usually do when dinner is ready, so don’t blame me).  I woke up and it was about 6:30, listened and couldn’t hear anybody, so I figured that, “oh, they must all be eating outside without me”. Turns out they were. HOWEVER. Before that even happened, I jumped out of bed still kind of half asleep and went downstairs expecting just one couple to be joining us for dinner (I had asked my mom if anyone was coming, and she only mentioned this couple, hence my assumption). Turns out, though, that there were actually nine extra people, not just two. That’s not super fun to discover right out of bed. But, here’s something even crazier: As I walked into the kitchen, I came face to face with a guy I met at swing dancing. I was jolted from sleepiness because of the level of surprise I found myself at. I don’t think he recognized me straight off, but gosh.. Hahah. It’s so FUNNY. Of all the things to happen.. this? Aha. I dunno. It’s just so bizarre. Another interesting dimension is the fact that he’s a roommate to this guy that comes to my familys’ church sometimes… a guy whose been around for as long as I can remember. My mind is STILL being blown by the craziness of it all. Ah geez…

But yeah.. after that happened I guess dinner just went on as normal. It was after dinner that things got relatively interesting again…

The other dude that the guy my family has known forever brought was an interesting fellow. He had this… downcast vibe about him. I dunno why, he just seemed very skeptical and downtrodden. If any readers know me personally, you’ll know that I’m a generally happy and upbeat person.. quite optimistic when I want to be, so his personality was a huge contrast to mine. He and the swing-dancing man and I got talking about books and movies and such, which was interesting and cool. I think I’m going to have to see “The Fountain”, as was recommended by them… it sounds like a great movie. Time moved on and a bunch of people ended up playing charades. Or a form of it anyways. I hate charades so I just sat on the sofa and laughed at peoples idea of active interpretation. I was amused. Then, a round of Taboo, which I LOVE (yay words!), and then another interesting conversation… this time more about what I want to do with writing, what types of writing, why I want to do the type of writing I want to do, the motivation, and then some stuff about the differences between the morals of Christians and non Christians.. and Ecclesiastes! I LOVE that book. Seriously? It’s definitely my favorite in the Old Testament… or… one of my favorites anyways. Psalms and Proverbs and Genesis are all pretty darn awesome as well. But anyways, something he said had me thinking a little bit. He asked me if I’d read Ecc. and what I thought of it. Honestly, being a natural-born optimist, I stated that I thought that it.. could be considered depressing, however, it brings to the front the true reality we live when we live lives that aren’t centered around a purpose, specifically, the purpose and relationship we have with Christ. That and the relationships we have with people are what count and lasts… what we do in relation to the relationships that we have affect how we act in relationships… which affects other relationships and how we live our lives… it’s all this big triangle or something. I dunno… that’s what I get from Ecclesiastes. I actually started reading it again tonight because I hadn’t read it in awhile.. so I’m excited. The blatant honesty and truth in that book is so raw and blunt… it’s great. But yes. A point he brought up that’s tickled my mind before is the fact that non-christians can have just as much morality as Christians… so… what does that mean? It’s an interesting question, and I’m intending to explore that one because I do think it’s important to think about and stuff. Something he mentioned that I thought was very interesting was a friend of his gave up Jesus for Lent… yeah. Interesting. You think about it. What would it be like to nix Jesus completely from your life? How would your life change because of it (and I don’t mean good change.. )? Just some food for thought in tonight’s quietness. Speaking of quietness, do you realize how wonderful it is to swing a baby to sleep in the cool fresh air of a post-storm atmosphere? Sleeping babies are so beautiful… I dunno what it is, but they are. I mention this because I got to do just exactly that with my niece this evening… it was so wonderful =) But yes, that wraps up my July 4th day. It was.. mildly interesting.. and mind blowing.

Aha.. so, I have gone and got distracted, so I shall finish my post now and save more for later =)

Ciao!

Alrighty, so anyone that knows me at least a little bit will probably have heard of some of the faith things that’ve happened in the course of my life. One in particular was the provision of funds for school last year. A thing about that. My family doesn’t take loans out, not for school, or anything else. I feel like the motivations behind it are solid, and it’s good sense, especially in this economy. So, as a result, I’ve committed to a no-loan education. Yeah, a big shocker and impossibility right? WRONG. Last year God did a couple of cool things that allowed me to put a year of schooling behind me.. DEBT-FREE. =D Tuition has been boosted by about a thousand, and my rooming situation is a little more expensive this year too (out of no choice of mine), so… again, the worries of finances and the question of whether or not I could go back was always lurking around in the middle of my mind. And I was worried. Despite the amazing way God had provided for my family and me personally… it’s a wonder I still worried about it as much as I did. I had about 6k to find either in scholarship or.. earn. And who in the world earns 6 thousand dollars in a summer, hm? Well… for awhile because me spiritual life was so awful, I didn’t pray about it. I took a pretty passive stance on it because.. that’s what I do with a lot of things, unfortunately. This past week though, I started praying more earnestly about having faith that God would lead where He wanted me, and that He would provide if he indeed wanted me back at Union. Well… one day at lunch, my parents started talking in Mandarin about something… i’m rusty on the little I know, so I couldn’t pick up the context, but after a short pause, my dad was like “oh hey, Allison, by the way. I wanted to tell you that someone (who wishes to remain anonymous) gave you $4k for your college fund.” I was astonished, in a good way. WHAT?! For real?! WOW. God really knows how to surprise His children, and that’s.. just.. a HUGE blessing. I’m a firm believer in serving with the resources that you’re given, and that… it just blew my mind away. I’m for sure going back to Union! 8D It was a direct lead, I feel.. no denying that. GAH! lakjgskahglasgalghasd!!! I’m just SO excited to see what God’s got in store for me this semester… I feel like friendships will shift as will schedules and the classes, wow, those classes. I’m really pumped all the same. I’m curious to see how it’ll feel just.. going back to Union instead of being a new student. To be one of “those other Union students that were here before me” kinda thing (in the perspective of a freshmen). When I came to Union I always felt that the Sophomores and up were soo much older and mature than me… which is actually not true at all! One of my life group leaders last semester was only a couple months older than me. I hope to overcome the “whoah sophomore” thing with the incoming freshmen.. it won’t be a problem. =) Darn, I’m so excited. OH! And today we got our housing assignments! =D Turns out, I got the building and the roommates I wanted! That pretty much sealed the deal: I’m certainly ready to go back now. Summer.. it’s been nice, but ya know. There isn’t a whole bunch to do.. especially if you’re restlessly waiting for August to come. It’ll be way slower. HOWEVER. Something that’ll help me out in the waiting? My job. Yes, that’s right! I got a job at a cafe, and I’m SO EXCITED. It’s a pretty low wage, maybe a little bit more than minimum, but it’s the environment I wanted, AND it’s a ministry, which is something I wanted to do this summer! God had a cool way of combining the two things I wanted/needed this summer. I’ve had a pretty full week of training… and so now tomorrow I experience my first 8 hour work day. Ohh boy. Eek! I’m excited because I love being there, but I’m worried that I won’t be able to remember the recipes, or that I’ll be slow/make mistakes or whatever. It’s a learning process, and most people are pretty chill with learners. Gotta wake up at an early 7:30 and work till 5 or possibly even later. Kinda weird. I’ll miss my siblings piano recitals… and… well, I won’t have much time to do much of anything if I laze around after work like I usually do. Maybe I’ll go jogging… I only went, what, once this week? Bleh. I gotta fix that asap. I don’t like not exercising regularly. It’s not that I need to lose weight or anything.. it just feels great! It’s energizing. Hah oh, and funny thing… one of my co-workers is a writer! How cool is that?! Aha I thought it was awesome. They’re all nice from what I’ve seen of them. I’m super excited to see what kind of things happens over there in that little cafe. =)

Speaking of writing… a couple of exercises were mentioned to me by that coworker I mentioned. Free writing, in particular, caught my interest. Basically, it’s writing for 15 minutes straight, not stopping, putting anything that comes to your mind down on paper. I’m totally going to do that one of these days… maybe I’ll put it up here, who knows. I guess it depends on the content going through my mind… some stuff I may not want to share with the world just yet… or something… you know =P

But yes, here I am, wrapping up my post about random and awesome stuff as it pours down the rain yet again today. I feel like it’s the fifth time or something. So much for the storms though. I could use some sun now, even though the sound of the rain is just wonderful. I love going to sleep with the sound of rain in my ears, with a gentle piano accompanying the natural music. 8 hour work day tomorrow.. I’d love prayer for that if anyone even reads this =P

Peace..

Allison